Small

As I was saying to L the other day, life has been getting smaller. Not in a bad way, just in a natural, unsurprising way.

There are rarely huge excitements waiting right around the corner nowadays – instead, the days are sprinkled with tiny moments that I want to stare at for no good reason. There are good days, there are bad days, but always, there are also these bite-sized pieces of time that I want to freeze and keep forever.

Like when W and I play this kissing game through the rails of his cot during bedtime, even when I know that I really shouldn’t be making him laugh when he is supposedly to be sleeping.

Or when I cut up vegetables into teensy bits during meal prep and somehow it makes me happy – I cannot really explain it.

***

Part of the reason why I keep putting off writing here is because I am afraid that I may have “lost” that thing that makes writing for myself so enjoyable in the past. And I am tired of making promises about “writing again” to myself that I cannot seem to keep – so I freed myself from any such obligations a long time ago.

Yet, not nagging at myself to pick this up again has not made me any happier about the situation. It still sits at the back of my mind, quiet but present.

So I thought that if I will just post one entry here, it may break the spell – even if it is about nothing at all.

And here it is: one entry about nothing at all.

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